My So-Called Yoga Life

Dear diary,

This whole thing is much bigger than me, but writing tends to help make sense of things. So many negative thoughts and feelings are surrounding me at the moment, some being deflected and some seeping in. It’s not that I want to be oblivious or to ignore the suffering in the world, but it gets so heavy, it’s depressing.

Times have certainly changed, and images that were once withheld from the public eye are now all over the media. Intimate imagery of misery and torment, of anguish and worse. It’s in our faces much more than ever before. While it delivers a profound realization of the pain that exists in our world, it draws us to feel a deep sadness and powerlessness. Personally, I feel that we need to filter what we take in, be very conscious of how much we expose ourselves to or it will just swallow us all up into a spiraling pit of despair.

My own failure to do this at times has caused bouts of existential crisis, wondering why we are all here in the first place. What meaning compels us to continue on  in this seemingly perpetual darkness? 

Finding meaning in love and in relationships, people, pets, activities, being in nature to feel the pulse of the earth in order to gain perspective on the perseverance of time and the resilience of the ages may be helpful for some. For others, the feeling of utter powerlessness and helplessness is overwhelming. “What can I do? I am one person” is a thought felt by many when confronted with the sea of emotion erupting from within. I know this has been me, countless times. I also know it is a privilege to be in this position at all. Why am I here and why is there a woman just like me living across the world in poverty? I’ll never know. Sometimes it is good to let it all out and feel into the big emotions, but it’s also good to know when to let go and find a way to climb out. Healthy coping mechanisms are important, but there is more.

Think about the times the cashier at the grocery store has asked you to donate $2 to a lunch program for kids in need, or to buy a can of cat food for the shelter as you cash out at the pet store. What about the homeless person outside of the grocery store? Suffering is everywhere. It doesn’t have to be about the person across the world. It can be anyone at any time. The depth of suffering we see in the news is happening close to home, in different forms and there is something you can do. If you can spare the $2 for the lunch program or the can of cat food or buy an extra sandwich for the homeless person, do it. These may seem small and yet they are deeply meaningful. The chains of suffering are loosened a little every time you perform an act of kindness. There are people with more, but there are also people with less. We have greater power than you may think. A constant flow of small acts will soothe the suffering of the world and heal hurting hearts in powerful yet fleeting moments of compassion and love. Taking control in the seemingly little places will give way to the greater force of love that drives us all to continue. That smile, eye contact, food, support, whatever you have in you to give, big or small, has great significance and it sends waves of healing through suffering to bring us together wherever we are and with whatever we have. Love and compassion, by their very nature, heal both those who give and those who receive. 

While I don’t understand everything and certainly don’t have the answers, I do believe that committing to small acts of kindness are an expression of love and they remind us that there is this kindness, this gentleness that connects us and this makes me feel full of hope.

Love,

Lisa xo