It seems that this year, I am so much more aware of the happenings over the last year than in those past. I started this blog this year and in preparing my writings for it, I suppose it has helped me to really put conscious memory into action as I ponder my thoughts and feelings. I have observed a great deal about my little life and noticed some wonderful things and also some places that could use some really overdue attention. I really love writing this blog, by the way;) There is far too much truth in the fact that we mostly, blindly, fail to acknowledge places in our lives that make us uncomfortable. For me, in the past it was a fear of failing to be my best all the time. I have managed to work quite a bit there and feel much better about this work in progress. This year I experienced some dark times in the beginning of it. Out of my control, but they quelled my growing ability to shine forth more confidently. Many steps back, I notice that I must draw attention once again to confidence in the radiance of my being.
In 2018, I will take charge of old patterns rather than let them play out. I will speak from within and hold no expectation of how it will be interpreted by those around me. If I am true, I can’t be mistaken for anything other than the true intention that I really am. If negativity happens, it is not me but a reflection of others. I will be TRUE. I also noticed that I live in a very regimented pattern in my life. Im an ashtangi and it is not difficult to see why I love the practice of Ashtanga yoga so much. It is also very disciplined. However, it impedes my social interactions with people. If time spent doesn’t fit into my comfortable schedule, I can get, well, agitated. I have been aware of this for some time, and have made some progress but it needs more.
I also can’t cook. I don’t like holding meals because food doesn’t inspire me. I am also vegetarian, which doesn’t harmonize with people around me. Food is more of a subsistence of life for me. It seems to create issues for social gatherings because I don’t relate well to others in this way. I am good at doing activities with people or having a coffee and a chat. Evening visits with a glass of wine aren’t too shabby either, lol, right?? But in all seriousness, I want to connect again without fear of judgement. If I don’t fear it, it can’t burden me. I will practice my meditations, affirmations and general thoughts to help create new mental patterns. If you think it enough, it will become real. I know my intentions are to relate to others, to feel them.
The new year isn’t necessarily about changing things or becoming a new person. It is about reflecting on what works and what doesn’t. Realizing what could do with some improvement and what is working better than ever. I like the reset feeling. It reminds me of morning time. I love the feeling of waking up and being out before others. Everything is fresh, untouched by the essence of daytime and I get to see it. That is what the new year is akin to. A time to refresh, reflect and be a better version of me.
I hope you enjoy this time of year and start off in 2018 with your best foot forward. Be fierce, be powerful, be You.
Happy New Year my loves!! Best for the coming year to you!!
Lisa Michelle xo